| Natthakarn's profile~EieN=ForEveR~PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
February 24 sth that no word to describei dont know wut i should say? i dont even know y do i have to say.... b'coz everytime i try to say it......someone interrupt and stop me from continue my story... so y should i have to say it from the beginning......
i just want things to goes like wut they want......without any worry but then things got worst......... mayb it's coz of me that didnt say anything from the beginning.... if tha's true then they can just blame me, scold at me, mad at me, or hit me with big tick wood. it would feel a lot better then wut they are doing now....
i just want my heart to stop and i could never wake up again....for driving their worry away, to take this feeling with me to the space of time that dont have to return anymore.....
mayb everythings is my fault for not being good enough for them.... it's my fault that i didnt talk abt anything......it's my fault that i am turning myself away from everyone..... it's my fault that cant do anything to satisfied them.... it's my fault that i cant be any good for them..... it's my fault that i am just a useless girl..... it's my fault that i can only be in the way that stop them....... it's my fault that i was born like this........
mayb it's better to just kill me and throw me into the deepthest of the dark ocean....... or take out my brain and feeling, turning my into a robot that can control and order anything to follow..... just put on the collar on my neck and use the strap to guide me to walk on the path that they want.........
.....but just dont be like that........
i hate when they are blaming themselves after they realize sth that i could have but cant afford it b'coz of them......... i hate when they feel bad b'coz of me while they keep telling me that it's my fault that didnt talk abt it.........
then y dont they listen to me at the first place.........and look at me when am talking........y they dont try to understand wut i try to tell them......and be calm when am speak.........
it's they cant do it then wut's the point that i have to tell them........wut is the point that to talk......explain.....or speak........when there is no one listen to wut i say.....
dont feel regard after they realize they make a mistaken for my path....coz i dont want sympathy from them........i dont want any feeling toward me except anger....coz it will make things easier to handle.
"i have to make my own path" is wut they said to me every time problem occur....... then dont try to interrupt my path that i choose to walk..... dont stop or pulling me bak from moving forward...... if there is a path they want me to walk for them, then said it......... lead me to it.......order me to go their way...... force me to kneel and moving to that direction........dont do it this way...........
i bag of u to stop being like this....feeling bad after things got worse........just blame at me and let's things go after they satisfied........ let me feel down in the darkness on my own..... i dont want any light from anyone.....b'coz i can light myself in my path......
plz forget the feeling of guilt and sympathy.......and let me go.... Comments (1)
TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://maymeichan.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!6830B74C7D191AEB!952.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
|
|
|
